joi, 25 octombrie 2012

within man

Un colaj foarte frumos si actualizat pornind de la discursul celebru al lui Sir Charles Chaplin din filmul Marele Dictator.



The Great Dictator
written by Sir Charles Chaplin


The Jewish Barber: I'm sorry but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black men, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each others' happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls; has barricaded the world with hate; has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge as made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these things cries out for the goodness in man; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say "Do not despair." The misery that has come upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.
(In a passionate raging voice now)

Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to these brutes who despise you, enslave you; who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle and use you as cannon fodder! Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men---machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are men! With the love of humanity in your hearts! Don't hate! Only the unloved hate; the unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St. Luke, it is written that the kingdom of God is within man, not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power. Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfill that promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people! Now let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers! To do away with greed, with hate and intolerance! Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to the happiness of us all. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us unite!
Iar aici este secventa originala:

vineri, 5 octombrie 2012

De weekend: ai 2 vaci


SOCIALISM
Ai 2 vaci.
Una i-o dai vecinului.

COMUNISM
Ai 2 vaci.
Ti le ia statul pe amandoua si iti da in loc 2 litri de lapte.

FASCISM
Ai 2 vaci.
Ti le ia statul pe amandoua si te obliga sa cumperi lunar 80 litri de lapte.

NAZISM
Ai 2 vaci.
Ti le ia statul pe amandoua si te impusca.

BIROCRATIE
Ai 2 vaci.
Ti le ia statul pe amandoua, impusca una, o mulge pe cealalta si arunca laptele.

SUPRAREALISM
Ai 2 girafe.
Statul te obliga sa iei lectii de muzicuta.

CAPITALISM TRADITIONAL
Ai 2 vaci.
Vinzi una si cumperi un taur.
Cireada se inmulteste, iar economia prospera. Le vinzi si iesi la pensie cu castigul.

CAPITALISM CORPORATIST TIP ENRON
Ai 2 vaci.
Vinzi trei dintre ele companiei tale listate public, folosind scrisori de credit deschise la banca de cumnatul tau, apoi executi un schimb datorie/creanta cu o oferta generala asociata, astfel incat recapeti cele patru vaci, cu o scutire de taxe pentru cinci vaci.
Drepturile asupra celor sase vaci sunt transferate, printr-un intermediar, catre o companie din Insulele Cayman, detinuta in secret de actionarul majoritar, care revinde companiei drepturile pentru toate cele sapte vaci.
Conform raportului anual, compania detine opt vaci, cu o optiune pentru inca una.
Vinzi o vaca pentru a cumpara un presedinte al SUA, ceea ce te lasa cu noua vaci.
Nu se furnizeaza nici o foaie de bilant impreuna cu comunicatul.
Publicul inghite.

CORPORATIE AMERICANA
Ai 2 vaci.
Vinzi una si o fortezi pe cealalta sa produca lapte pentru patru.
Esti surprins cand vaca moare.
Compania de asigurari va trimite un detectiv sa ancheteze cauzele mortii vacii.

COMPANIE FRANCEZA
Ai 2 vaci.
Faci greva, blochezi drumurile si organizezi o rascoala, pentru ca vrei trei vaci.

COMPANIE JAPONEZA
Ai 2 vaci.
Le reproiectezi, astfel incat sa fie de zece ori mai mici decat o vaca obisnuita si sa produca de douazeci de ori mai mult lapte.
Apoi creezi imagini animate ale vacii, numite Cowkemon, si le promovezi la scara globala.

COMPANIE GERMANA
Ai 2 vaci.
Le reproiectezi, astfel incat sa traiasca 100 de ani, sa manance o data pe luna si sa se mulga singure.

COMPANIE BRITANICA
Ai 2 vaci. Amandoua sunt nebune.

COMPANIE ITALIANA
Ai 2 vaci, dar nu stii unde sunt.
Pleci in pauza de pranz.

COMPANIE ELVETIANA
Ai 5000 de vaci, dintre care nici una nu-ti apartine.
Facturezi celorlalti cheltuielile de depozitare.

COMPANIE RUSEASCA
Ai 2 vaci.
Le numeri si afli ca ai 5 vaci.
Le numeri din nou si afli ca ai 42 de vaci.
Le numeri din nou si afli ca ai 12 vaci.
Te opresti din numarat vaci si deschizi alta sticla de vodca.

COMPANIE CHINEZA
Ai 2 vaci.
Ai 300 de oameni care le mulg.
Declari somaj zero, productivitate bovina inalta si arestezi reporterul care a publicat cifrele reale.

COMPANIE INDIANA
Ai 2 vaci. Te inchini la ele.

COMPANIE IRAKIANA
Toata lumea crede ca ai o multime de vaci.
Le spui ca n-ai niciuna.
Nimeni nu te crede, te bombardeaza si iti invadeaza tara .
Tot fara vaci ai ramas, dar acum ai democratie.

COMPANIE AUSTRALIANA
Ai 2 vaci.
Afacerile par ca merg destul de bine.
Termini ziua de lucru si mergi la o bere sa sarbatoresti.

COMPANIE NEO-ZEELANDEZA
Ai 2 vaci.
Cea din stanga e foarte atractiva.

COMPANIE ROMANEASCA
Ai 6 vaci, costuri cat de 10, mulgi doar 3, alergi bezmetic printre
ele, mai aduci personal pentru alte 5, falimentezi si dai vina pe bou.

COMPANIE GRECEASCA
Ai 2 vaci.
Te imprumuti de la Germania punandu-le la bataie.
Tai vacile si faci souvlaki.
Nu poti plati dobanda, asa ca Germania iti imprumuta alti bani.
Nu poti plati dobanda, asa ca Germania iti imprumuta alti bani.
Nu poti plati dobanda, asa ca Germania iti imprumuta alti bani.
Nu poti plati dobanda, asa ca Germania iti imprumuta alti bani...